Skint

I'm skint.

Absolutely fucking potless. I'm a single parent, I'm in a job I hate, I'm struggling just to keep the lights on and December totally wiped me out.

Over the last year I've followed other people's finance blogs and podcasts because I need to do something about it. There are some really good ones, some that I've found some really good tips on. But the thing that stands out is that they are all written from the point of view of middle class, affluent people either trying to get things for less or trying to get more than they need.

It really irritates me. Rather than talking about how you pay all your direct debits this month it's shite like get five pounds off a forty pound box of wine. Does that make you feel good? Does that keep the lights on for you? Then this is probably going to be the wrong place.

A few days ago I didn't know if I was going to have enough cash in the bank to meet all my bills before January's salary came in. I was absolutely terrified. I can't describe how anxious it made me. Rather than Getting the Best Deals in the Boxing Day Sales I was trying not to freak out in front of my 10 year old daughter.

Nobody tells you about that. No one ever mentions how you keep smiling and laughing so that your kid enjoys Christmas whilst you put a mental lid on everything that is going wrong in the background. I have to learn for myself that having a day out somewhere cheap is better than being at home because I'm not running the boiler when I'm out. Are ISA's Still A Good Investment? That's what you get. If you're affluent then you have people queuing round the block to tell you how to get more. If you are skint then nobody wants to know.

I've been thinking about starting a blog for a while because I've been so frustrated. I'd love to have the cash to worry about where the best place to put it is. Right now I am more worried about my daughter sleeping in a bedroom with no heating in January. I want someone to cater to me and my issues. So this is it, this is my first post.

I'm aiming to get out of the hole that I am in. I'd actually been doing OK over most of 2019 but in December I made the mistake of buying a new car (mine was close to death) which coincided with Christmas. It took out what cash I had in reserve, I'd ended up paying more than I expected for after-school and school dinner bills and I burnt through my overdraft and emergency fund.

I am going to try to do at least one post a week, more if I can justify it. I want 2020 to be about getting back on my feet again and getting into a good financial position. I learned a lot over 2019, despite screwing up, and hopefully I can help someone.

If I can figure out resources then I've been considering a podcast as well. I don't know how much I've got to offer but I think the voices of people in my position need to be heard. I never expected life to be this hard at this stage and what really shocks me is how isolating it is. If I can reach just a handful of people then great.